LINK VS SQUIRREL
by LinkMan123
Summary: Second Chapter is up
1. Squrrels are EVIL

Authors Note:  
  
This is my first story, and if people like it, I will make a lot more.  
  
Introduction:  
  
(Zelda is staring out a window, while is Link walking out from the bathroom)  
  
Link: Whew! That's the last time I mix ice cream and Sloppy Joes for dinner  
  
Zelda: Link I want to go have a romantic picnic in the park with you...Link?  
  
Link (from back inside the bathroom): Whatever, as long as we're not having Sloppy Joe's or ice cream.  
  
Zelda: Then its settled, we'll go in an hour.  
  
At The Park:  
  
(At the picnic, Link goes to go get some fresh berries from the forest, while Zelda sets the blanket up)  
  
Link: What kind of berries does Zelda like?  
  
Mysterious Voice: It doesn't matter you wont make it out of here alive  
  
Link (Drawing his sword): Who said that, if you want a challenge than come down and fight like a man...or whatever you are!  
  
(Link slowly took a few steps backwards and then a beast fell out of a tree and wrapped itself around Link. Link began to run blindly towards the picnic gasping for air, and fell down right in front of Zelda)  
  
Zelda: Link I thought you were going to get berr...ooh how cute, a little squirrel. Links thank you so much for this cute little guy.  
  
Link: Zelda that thing is evil. It just tried to suffocate me!  
  
Zelda: Oh sure, like the time when you said the bunnies in the castle garden were working for the enemies by digging tunnels under the castle walls. Oh and there was that other time when you said that the mice in the castle were plotting to cut off our food and water until we gave them the throne. Oh and lets not forget...  
  
Link: Shut up! I know that those other times were just false alarms, but this squirrel is out to kill us. It is best to kill it know. (Link grabbed the squirrel and took out a dagger)  
  
Zelda: Link no! (Zelda quickly grabbed the squirrel and slapped Link across the face, leaving a big red mark) How can you mistake this adorable little squirrel for a dangerous monster?  
  
Link: Maybe the fact that there is a wanted poster on that tree for a squirrel, and that beast tried to suffocate me. (Link ran over and got the poster and read it)  
  
"Warning: Dangerous squirrel spotted in Hyrule, 8in. tall and adorable. Beware this creature has been known to latch onto peoples faces until they suffocate. Ladies beware: If your lover brings you a squirrel, quickly get rid of it. Reward for the death of this creature: 10,000 rupees."  
  
Zelda: That doesn't prove a thing; this little guy could be a different squirrel. Now, come sit down and eat with us.  
  
(Link and Zelda began to eat their lunch. Every time Link looked at the squirrel, the squirrel's eyes would turn red. And when Zelda would look at it, its eyes would go back to normal.)  
  
Zelda: That was a great lunch right Mr. Fuzzykins? Now lets take a nap under this tree.  
  
Link: I refuse to go to sleep while that beast is around here.  
  
Zelda: Well fine, you can just sit here and watch the "Beast" while I take a nap.  
  
(Zelda fell asleep after a few minutes, and the squirrel crawled out of her arms, and stood on its hind legs facing Link)  
  
Squirrel: All right bub, if you want to ruin my plans for getting rid of Zelda than you will have to defeat me first.  
  
Link: With pleasure! (Link drew his sword) You will regret this.  
  
Squirrel: Then it's settled; we will have a fight to the death, right here, right now.  
  
(The squirrel jumped at Link, and as before, he wrapped himself around Link)  
  
Link: I knew you were going to do that. (He took out a dagger, and cut off the squirrels arms and legs) Ha, now you can't fight.  
  
Squirrel: Oh really. (The squirrel began to glow and acorns from all of the trees began to wrap around him forming him making a huge acorn beast) Now who is the helpless one? Muahahahaha! (The monster grabbed Link by the throat, and started to strangle him. With the last of Link's strength, he took the sword and stabbed it through the heart of the monster. With a flash of light the monster exploded, and Link fell to the ground followed by the squirrel (who fell dead).  
  
Zelda (waking up): Link what was tha...Y-You killed Mr. Fuzzykins! (Zelda angrily slapped Link on the side of his head leaving a huge red spot.)  
  
Link: Well at least I saved the kingdom.  
  
From Inside The Castle:  
  
Mice and Rabbits together: That's what he thinks! MUAHAHAHAHA  
  
The End? 


	2. Something's Fishy

Authors Note: Okay since you guys liked my other story so much, than I am going to write another. (Yay!) And also Senior is said Sen-yor not Sen-yer. I was just to lazy to put the ñ in on every Senior.  
  
In the Park(After Link killed the squirrel)  
  
Link: Zelda it was evil!  
  
Zelda: You were just jealous that I showed love for something other than you.  
  
Link: Well yeah kind of, but that's not the point, the point is that your little Mr. Fuzzykins, was pure evil!  
  
Zelda: well than if you know what is evil and what isn't, than go find me a new pet, one that isn't evil.  
  
Link: FINE I WILL!  
  
(Link stormed off angrily, while Zelda began burying the remains of her furry companion)  
  
Link: What in the world am I going to get for Zelda's new pet? Hmmmm.... I don't want anything in the rodent species; so maybe something like a viper, or a tiger, you know something that would never try to hurt Zelda. (Just then, a fish jumped out of the water and flew right into Link's face. Link quickly grabbed the fish held it in front of him so he could see it) Why you little...  
  
Zelda (running over to Link): He's perfect! Link, hurry put him in a bottle. (Link put it in a bottle, and the fish winked at him)  
  
Link: What the...fish can't wink!  
  
Zelda: Well this one is special! I shall name him SeÅor Squish Squish.  
  
Link: What kind of name is that?  
  
Zelda: It's a great name for a gazelle!  
  
Link: You just said it was a fish.  
  
Zelda: No I didn't!  
  
Link: Fine it's a gazelle.  
  
Zelda: No it's a fish stupid!  
  
Link:?0O?  
  
Zelda: Lets go back to the castle for some food.  
  
Link: All right!  
  
Zelda: I didn't mean you, I meant Senior Squish Squish, you are eating and sleeping outside. Oh yeah, and I'm riding your horse back to the castle. Have fun walking! (Zelda rode quickly away on Epona. The evil fish poked its head out of the bottle, and blew a raspberry.)  
  
Link: I've got to save Zelda!  
  
(After long hours of walking, Link finally made it to Hyrule Castle. Sneaking through a windowsill Link found himself in Zelda's Room.)  
  
Link: Uh-Oh (Zelda was just walking in with Senior Squish Squish in a brand new fishbowl. Link quickly dove into Zelda's closet.)  
  
Zelda: Tomorrow we'll go to the Great Bay and swim, wont that be great! (The fish started to nod and then rolled his eyes when Zelda had her back turned.) Well better change into my night skirt. (Zelda began to take of her dress, and Link poked his head out of the closet and started to drool. The fish noticed Link and began swimming around furiously) What is wrong Senior? Is there something in the closet... LINK YOU FILTHY PIG! (Zelda began slapping Link and than pushed him out the window)  
  
Link (a little dazed): Well that wasn't very smart; I really need to get rid of him but how...(Just than Mario came up to the castle drawbridge)  
  
Mario (Calling): HELLO, THIS IS MARIO, THE PROFFESIONAL PLUMBER YOU ASKED FOR.  
  
(A few minutes later Mario was in a bush unconscious and Link was walking into the castle dressed up as a professional plumber.)  
  
Guard: I want you to check every toilet or no pay! (The toilets the had were just holes that lead to the river)  
  
Link: Yes Sir! I shall start in the Royal chambers! (Link Hurried over to Zelda's room and luckily for him, Zelda was off at a meeting, and she was in such a hurry she forgot her new pet.) Well well well look what we got here, a poor defenseless fish. Feel the wrath of my... Plunger? (Link forgot he left his stuff outside when he stole Mario's stuff.)  
  
Senior Squish Squish: Hahaha foolish Link did you really think you could defeat me!?! You shall wish you were never born win I'm done with you! (Senior Squish Squish began to glow and in a flash of light he turned into a huge octopus and grabbed Link.)  
  
Link: Cant...Breath...  
  
S.S.S.: Muahahahahahahaha  
  
(With Links last breath, he took the plunger and shoved it over Senior's mouth. Senior began to turn white, and than shrunk back down to fish size except he was dead.)  
  
Zelda (walking in from her meeting): How are you Senior... MARIO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!! GUARDS!  
  
(Link Jumped out the window and quickly ran to the bush with his real cloths and Mario. Link than changed his cloths, and dressed Mario back up)  
  
Zelda (Running toward Link): My hero. Do you know what that evil man did?  
  
Link (lying): No what happened?  
  
Zelda: He killed Senior Squish Squish!  
  
Link: That's terrible!  
  
Zelda: I know. GUARDS.  
  
Five guards (who were following Zelda): Yes Ma'm.  
  
Zelda: Beat this plumber into the century.  
  
Five guards (dragging off Mario): Yes Ma'm.  
  
Link: Maybe this means you shouldn't have a pet.  
  
Zelda: Nonsense, we'll get another pet tomorrow.  
  
Link (Sighing): Here we go again.  
  
The End? 


End file.
